a sublime reflection
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 7:20AM 
Oddly enough - my first time alone, since being on this trip was yesterday evening. I mean really alone. No one was with me, or near me, or even thinking about me. I wasn't talking to anyone from home, nor was I thinking about anyone. I was walking around the streets of old Cagli and new Cagli, hoping to detox by way of shopping and walking around aimlessly. With "me" being the only thought. It may have been the fact that I had nowhere to be, and no one looking for me, and no agenda... I was literally at my own liberty, on my own time, and I was perfectly content with that.
It started to drizzle a little and normally, I would have turned around and headed for shelter. But I didn't. I kept walking, farther and farther away from what had become familiar in the last month. It was oddly refreshing.
Deep down inside, I have had this fear of being alone. Not just in life, but in general. I didn't like being myself, because then I was left to my own thoughts - and God only knows where that would lead me. Being alone gave me anxiety attacks, made me cry, and often stressed me out. Yesterday, I was completely alone. When I finally made it back to my room, I took a long look in the mirror, and I swear I saw myself differently. I can't quite put my finger on what it was, but I smiled at the sublime reflection, and had the utmost confidence that I was on the right track... to somewhere.
One demon down... several more to go.
Cagli Italy,
alone,
long walk,
reflection,
sublime reflection,
thinking clerly in
Mi Viaje,
On Being Better 


